How I Changed My Life for the Better Pt 2

Last week I started describing what exactly has changed in my life. It’s been a lot of little changes. Essentially, it was a change of outlook. I needed to change the way I thought about conflicts, opportunities, and life. I had to adjust my mindset to view everything in a positive way.

Changing my mindset involved taking a real look at what was happening in my life in the moment and figuring out where I wanted to be. All of the changes are just the stepping stones to getting where I want. So, let me continue to tell you about some of those changes.

Exercise

Growing up I was an athlete. I started playing basketball in 6th grade and I played sports up until my junior year of high school. Being active was something I enjoyed and didn’t even know it at the time. Most days I dreaded going to practice because that meant running sprints and lifting weights. Let’s face it, I would have rather been at home watching TV. That attitude followed me into college. My freshman year I worked out every day because that’s what my friends at the time were doing. Sophomore year came around and exercising completely disappeared from my daily schedule.

After a few years of doing nothing, I got a Planet Fitness membership for Christmas. I went to the gym once a week. Ok, I’m not going to lie, I went to the gym once a month. This last summer I moved and my friendships changed. All I wanted was something familiar. Something that wouldn’t change. That was the gym.

Now working out is my go to stress relief, especially when nothing else seems to work. I put in my headphones, throw on some Kanye, and run as hard as I can until I absolutely have to slow down. When I think I can’t go anymore, I convince myself thirty more seconds won’t kill me. Guess what? It doesn’t. Approaching working out with that attitude has changed how I push myself outside of the gym. Why can’t I do this project? Trick question: I can and I will.

Finding a Sanctuary

The gym has become an indoor sanctuary for me. It’s one of the places I feel most like my awkward, authentic, semi-coordinated self. If you were to ask me where I feel most like myself I’d say somewhere up north on the lake. Being near the water, or on it, somewhere where life moves a little bit slower than the bustle of the city is where I’m truly happy. That’s my true sanctuary.

When I lived up north I spent a lot of time driving and stopping at the lake to just think. Mankato doesn’t have a “true” lake. I’ve lived here for four years and I have yet to find a place that is as calming as the lake. A pretty close second has been my car though. As weird as that sounds I spend quite a bit of time in my car driving. In high school, I was the designated driver on almost every road trip my friends and I took. I really love driving. It feels familiar, comforting, and just right.

Finding a sanctuary is important for everyone. It should be a place that’s your own. Somewhere that other people don’t go. Somewhere that the present is what’s truly in focus. There shouldn’t be any worrying about the past. The future should be a distant thought that seems pleasant and full of possibility. Be in the moment because it’s happening now. It’s beautiful. Embrace it.

Reading

Branching off from living in the moment, one of my favorite things to do while in the moment is to read. I’ve always been an avid reader. I used to open up my parents’ bills and read it to them just to have something new to read. I was reading at the level of an eighth grader by the time I was 8 (I got placed in advanced reading). Most of my childhood was spent with my nose in a book or outside riding my bike. More often than not I was riding my bike because somebody told me to take a break from reading.

With college, it’s hard to find free time. The free time I do have I want to spend with friends. Yet, part of me wasn’t fully satisfied. I missed reading. It’s not like I wasn’t reading at all (hello finance textbook), I just wasn’t reading for my own personal entertainment.

So I decided that every night before I go to bed if I don’t immediately pass out from exhaustion, I was going to read. It’s actually helped me to fall asleep. It distracts me from my anxious thoughts about how much of my to-do list I never finished and how tomorrow I have to work 10 hours and somehow get my business law discussion done. I find myself actually being more creative. I’m not sure if that’s a direct correlation or not, but having a story to think about in the middle of the day that isn’t related to my immediate life is a nice break from, well, life. Also, this reading for fun has allowed me to catch up on all the magazines I had laying around.

Side note: A special thank you to Katrina, Logan, and Zacharias for loaning me books to read. You’re the real MVPs.

Don’t choose reading as a way to relax if you hate reading. Just think back to your childhood. What did you spend the most time doing for fun? Are you still doing that? If not, why? Maybe you should start doing it again.

Tis the set of the sails and not the gales which tells us the way to go.

-Ella Wheeler Wilcox

This is how I changed my life. Feel free to try what I did, but it probably won’t have the same effect on you. Every person has individual wants, needs, passions, and goals to fulfill. What you may need in your life won’t be the same as what the person next to you needs. If you truly want your life to change for the better, to wake up and feel motivated and inspired to go about your day, you need to do the hard work first.

I wish creating the life I wanted was as easy as driving on the road. Just stay in the lane, stop when there’s a red sign, turn with the yellow arrows, and keep moving forward. Change is never like that though. There is no road map. It’s a jungle that’s waiting to be explored and the first person to discover it is you. It’ll be hard to get through, but once you do, it’s the most rewarding feeling.

Seriously, I could talk about embracing life, filling it with positivity, and how change is great for hours. That’s how excited and in love with my life I am. And I hope, if you aren’t there yet, you have the courage to try to get there.

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step.

—Mess in Progress has been a great outlet for me and I hope you enjoy reading my random thoughts! Follow me for weekly email updates! Comment and let me know what you think about making changes for the better! Contact me, let’s grab coffee, and discuss our messy, beautiful lives.

How I Changed My Life for the Better Pt. 1

This has been a year full of challenges. That seems to be an ongoing theme in my life as of late; challenges that is. And with those challenges has come personal growth. I’ve grown more in this year than I have in my entire life and there are still a few more months to go. For all I know, within the next three months I’ll have transformed into someone completely new.

The fact is I started out this year in a pretty terrible place. I was exhausted from pushing myself too hard in school. I was unhealthy because I hardly ever exercised and my diet consisted of nothing but junk. I was dealing with anxiety that left me unable to get up, go to class, take care of myself, and left me even more drained then I had been before. I was recovering from a mutual, but heart wrenching, break up.

May the next few months be a period of magnificent transformation.

Where I am at now is leaps and bounds from where I was at in January. Getting here was a struggle. You know the saying “take two steps forward and one step back?” Well, it was more like one step forward, five steps back, 3 steps forward, 1/2 step back, and, well, you get the picture. I wish I could say it was a straight route to feeling and being better, but it was more like getting stuck in a corn maze, retracing steps, trying new routes, and hoping for the best.

So why do I bring this up? Because I finally feel balanced and ready to talk about it. I’m proud of my progress. I’ve put more work into myself than I have in anything else for years. The fact is I want to share how I got to this place with people and help them try to get there if, and when, they are ready to do that. It’s hard, time consuming work, but if a person is ready to try than here I am ready to help.

Here’s a few things I changed and how it affected my life:

Mental Outlook

This was by far the most challenging thing to change. Growing up I had always been an optimist. As I grew up I realized that that level of optimism was rare. I was an idealist living in a world surrounded by realists. When I started spouting ideas and seeing things through rose-colored glasses, people would shut me down. I learned to rein the optimism in. It was still there, but I buried it with sarcasm and a witty humor. LOL JK I’m not witty.

Getting back into that positive perspective started with having a serious talk with myself. I actually analyzed my life, who was in it, what was in it, and what made me happy or stressed. My life wasn’t perfect. It still isn’t. But taking the negative out of it made it feel lighter somehow. I stopped caring what people thought as much. I started seeing bad situations as challenges to overcome and opportunities for improvement. Everything was rosy again.

Dealing with Surroundings

As I said before, I was influenced heavily by other people. I’ve always been good at observing others and adjusting to the frequency they put out to fit in more. I’m adaptable. That adaptability made me prone to mirroring the actions and personality of people around me. Turns out at the lowest point in my life I had quite a few negative people surrounding me.

So I dealt with it. To be honest, I burned a few bridges. I stopped hanging out with people who only talked about the negative, terrible things happening in their life. That behavior was addictive and it was bringing me down. The longer I spent time with them, the more I started to view life that way. Then I started to look at what I valued. Honesty is one of the most important things to me. I’d rather you say what you’re thinking, even if it’s mean, than to try and sugar coat things and pretend everything’s alright. I had a friend who lied to me about a major issue and I ended cutting them out of my life. It may sound harsh, but the relief I felt was amazing. I didn’t have to wonder what else they lied about or be around a presence I didn’t want to be.

Diet

I work at a pizza place, which is fun. Half off food? Sign me up. Sweets? I’m there. You’re making pasta? When can I come over? I love pizza. I love candy. I love carbs. Vegetables? What are those? That had been my diet for a good year, if not longer.

Recently I decided to start watching what I was eating. In no way was I surprised to find that carbs and sugar were by far what I ate the most of. So I decided to make some drastic changes. I cut out foods with excess sugar (bye Cocoa Puffs, Coca-Cola, and chocolate chip cookies). Instead of carbo-loading, I had one source of carbs with every meal (no more bread AND pasta). I got rid of dairy. This was heartbreaking. My sister is lactose intolerant and it turns out that being lactose intolerant isn’t only genetic, but something you can grow in and out of it. At 22 years old I grew in to being lactose intolerant. Eating dairy literally made me so nauseous I would sometimes vomit. I still have not fully come to terms with the lack of ability to consume dairy.

I drink way more water, which makes me feel so much more energized. I discovered how delicious almond milk is. As a kid I hated vegetables, now I prefer them over fruit. It’s not all easy though. Sometimes I slip up and decide to have an extra large serving of pasta, bread, and ice cream. I shrug it off and try to do better the next day. Honestly, most days I’m just trying to remember to eat three meals. Now I feel more energized, not nauseous, healthier, and I actually lost weight without adding exercise to my routine.

 

The secret to living well and longer is: eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure. -Tibetan Proverb

 

This is only part of what I’ve changed. I used to trying to slowly incorporate one thing at a time. It always failed. Then one day it hit me that it was now or never and I started changing as much as I possible could as soon as I possibly could. So far it’s working. Check in next week for part two of How I Changed My Life.